In Your Heart

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Your heart beats for me
I love the sound of your heart beat
I dance to the sound of your heart beat
Your heart never stop beating for me

You adore me
You want me all to yourself
Your heart rips from the beat of me
I’m in your heart beat

Race Yourself

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It is not a race with others
It is not a competition with others
It is a race with yourself
A competition with yourself

Don’t race yourself, race with others and be a loser
Compete with yourself be a winner
Lose to yourself, be a winner
Please don’t stop racing with yourself

The Little Things Matter the Most

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Why does the little things matter? The little things matter because it is the little things when add up together forms the big things. When we do the little things correctly, we get a big perfect satisfying result.
Your little attitudes determine who you attract to your life. According to the popular phrase, “if you want to catch a fool, you have to act like a fool”. Act like what you want to attract in your life.
We love somethings and hate other things
We can accommodate some attitudes and cannot just stand others
We judge correctly and we misjudge. We overlook the little things thinking they don’t have any have any effect on us but it is the little things that have a huge effect on us over time.
The more we become aware and observant of our actions, behaviors, thinking, attitudes, surroundings and how we respond to these things, our lives becomes better.

Have you ever been in a situation just like the one have been in where you and your friend are going on a stroll and you meet another mutual friend on the way. The mutual friend said hello to you but didn’t say hello to your other friend. Because the mutual friend didn’t say hello to the friend you where strolling with, made your friend upset and started keeping malice with the mutual friend for as long as you can imagine? If something as little as not saying hi within a second can cause a 1 year malice then the  way we care for the big things is the same way we should care for the small things.

I cannot work in an untidy environment. It will be difficult for me to work for the big things when my environment is untidy.

Every action we make every second, day, month and year determines our attitude. . Everyone is watching your little and irrelevant actions. People are taking notes. Make those little actions count. Your actions also determine your future. If you make the right attitudes, you will have the desired result of the future you want
The little things are easily overlooked because they are little. Over look the little things and see the big things fading.

5 Attitudes to Avoid Anxiety

 

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Having more control over our actions and attitudes help us to be smarter in every aspect of our lives. Why the need to avoid anxiety? Anxiety itself is not a good feeling. The need to avoid anxiety is the need to be aware and to be aware leads to a positive mindset. Because “No pain no gain”, to avoid anxiety, we have to be ready to always work to avoid it. There are attitudes you have to welcome and start practicing if you haven’t in your life. These attitudes that I’m going to explain will help you avoid anxiety better and completely.

Discipline: A way of training your mind to learn to control your behaviour. To be disciple generally is difficult but easy for some. To have a positive mindset, you cannot avoid being discipline with your work, social life, marital life, all area of your life. Being discipline makes you more alert to your surroundings and avoid anxiety

Education: Education is key in which with education, you cannot do without being discipline to be successfully educated. Being Ready to Grow mentally, physically, spiritually is (body, mind and soul) important to avoid anxiety. I can say with only education, you can almost eradicate anxiety. With education, you can see things differently from different perspective, make mistakes and learn from mistakes to be a better person

Accepting the present: Accepting things the way they are, exploring the way things are without fear or worry or unnecessary questions helps to dismiss anxiety. Not being judgemental, accepting your faults irrespective of the outcome and not blaming others. When the feeling of anxiety arises, being relaxed, accepting you have anxiety is great because when you are able to control yourself when you have anxiety, you can decide to do other things. That way the anxiety clears from your mind because you are focused on other things

Confidence in oneself: To be self confident does not only mean to be able to speak in public but to be able to think of yourself as capable to do and not incapable. it is an important characteristic to develop your inner confidence. Learning to believe in yourself should be an attitude you should take into practice.

With patience and time, you feel the experience of your anxiety, learn more about yourself and your kind of anxiety because it can vary from person to person. The anxiety becomes something you know how to dismiss easily.

Lastly, a point I got from calmclinic, listen to Good Mood Music: Every little thing matters. That’s why even if it sounds like it won’t make a tremendous difference, listening to your favorite music can have a powerful effect on your anxiety. They key is to not just choose songs you like, however. The key is also to make sure you’re listening to music that represents the way you want to feel. Happy or relaxing music, not just any music.

The reality is that music does affect emotions. So while many people find it soothing to listen to angry music when you’re angry or sad music when you’re sad, the truth is that this type of music will only help you get in touch with those negative emotions. They won’t help you feel better. When you’re trying to stop anxiety now, you should listen to music that will help you feel the way you want to feel.

These attitudes does not only help in anxiety, they help in other aspect of our life.

“If anxiety is unrelenting and chronically interfering with daily life, it’s a good idea to consult a doctor or mental health profession.” – fastcompany.com

 

 

 

How I (to) Managed my Depression

anxiety

To update my post titled why worry.

In life, we all one way or the other have gone through anxiety. I wish I have a video of my experience because practical feels better. I went through a severe depression, too much worry, fear, shaking, head pain and other symptoms. This anxiety or worry lasted for almost a year in which normal worry should not take that long. I cried like it was the end of the world

  • How did I manage the situation?
  • I read articles from the internet to understand the situation and know how to solve the problem
  • I told friends and family because in situations like having anxiety, it is quite important to have people around you
  • I went to the movies and did many other social activities
  • I had a daily plan (What I wanted to achieve everyday)
  • Exercised morning and afternoon
  • Had a positive mind that I will be fine
  • Loved myself more
  • Appreciated myself and what I have and learnt to love others irrespective of their behaviours

These where the activities I did constantly when I had depression and now, believe me, I am the happiest person alive. I thought it was the end of the world and felt like there was nothing to live for. I can confidently tell you that be thankful in every situation you find yourself because with the depression I had, I am a better person, more healthier than I was when I didn’t have that severe depression and as I am, I can easily over look and manage easily any difficult situation I find myself in.

If you don’t have a bit of worry, you probably are not doing something right in life. Because we have to succeed in every area of our life, we are prone to get worried. But too much of it, is not good because it leads to mental sickness. How do you handle your worry (anxiety)? Anxiety is a feeling that people don’t take with importance but treated care freely which sometimes when not handled properly, it leads to depression and severe mental health. To achieve anything in life successfully, the first step to always take is to DEFINE and UNDERSTAND i.e have an idea of what that something is. Not knowing and trying to execute most times lead to destruction. Know what is causing you to be anxious, have an understanding of the situation. When you have been able the know what is causing the feeling then you can begin to solve the problem (Anxiety)

When you don’t know the solution to a problem or the end result of a circumstance is not clear, anxiety (worry) creeps in
Since you know that the end of your circumstance is not clear, then you should know that an unconscious mind game is being played because you are thinking about your unclear circumstance. This is one way I use to understand, solve and confront your anxiety

When you are facing anxiety, ask yourself why? why are you anxious? In the past when I go for interview an I’m anxious,  I ask myself  why am I anxious? Is it because of fear of not being taken? or fear of being look down on? or fear of talking to someone? I intermediately answer those questions and begin to take necessary steps to solving those problems

Solving and confronting your anxiety varies from person to person depending on the severity of the depression.

Tips For Solving Anxiety/Depression

  • Self confidence
  • Taking Vitamin B6 and Iron
  • Exercise
  • Meditation and Yoga
  • Talk to trustworthy people
  • Have a positive mindset
  • Eat well and have a good social health
  • Patience. Depending on your experience, depression is sometimes not something that will clear immediately. To be patient is one characteristics we must possess

“As more people feel the challenges of anxiety, listening to its messages and finding ways to release the negative aspects and channel its power into performance are important skills to master.
So, instead of being fearful of the challenge you’re facing, work on focusing on the opportunity within it.
If anxiety is unrelenting and chronically interfering with daily life, it’s a good idea to consult a doctor or mental health profession.” – fastcompany.com

We Don’t Care

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They like us
We like them
They hate us
We love them

They harm us
We forgive them
They spite us
We don’t care

They love us
They hate us
We love ourselves
We don’t care

Your Life or Theirs?

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What do you understand by the title of this post? With your understanding, what is your reply to the title question? If you chose your life? Why? And why not theirs? If you chose theirs, Why? And why not yours? Is your life better than theirs or theirs better than yours? Have you defined your life? Have they defined your life? Have they defined their life or you defined it for them? What is the definition of your life and theirs? Most times, people say you should always appreciate yourself and your life but then appreciating another person’s life is not a bad idea because it shows a sign of love. Wanting to have another person’s life is mostly seen as bad but I will say it is bad when you look down on yourself.

Your life or theirs? Why should I have to ask you your life or theirs? If anyone should ask you such a question you should reply asking the person with why are you asking me? Because you need to know and make sure the person is not asking thinking one life is better than the other. You cannot be answering such a question in that perspective but rather motivating the person. That is why we should always be aware about what we are venturing into.

If I’m to ask you to advice me on which to pick between my life or theirs, how will you advice me? Why do I want you to advice me? Because we all need advice, no advice is better than the other. We can all learn from each other. I will appreciate if you can write your advice down in the comment section for me and others to learn after you are done reading my own advice.

Your life should be your first choice because without your life, how will you appreciate another person’s life? Appreciate your life and everything concerning you first. After appreciating and loving your life then you can comfortably appreciate or love another person life. Similar to the explanation I gave in paragraph one, and referring to one of my posts (poem) titled be yourself, I wrote

We are all arts
Every art in the museum has it’s unique beauty
If you don’t represent your uniqueness,
Who will do that for you?

How will your beauty be seen?
We are all beautiful in our own ways
Be yourself
Love everything about you

Nurture your uniqueness,
So the world can see your beauty”

We should cultivate the habit of not comparing one another, making some people feel less than others and others feeling better than others as such behavior can cause depression. Our aim should be eradicating depression and low self-esteem and promoting togetherness, one love, loving each other’s uniqueness for the best living we can ever imagine. It is human to be jealous, think of yours as bad or think of others as better but they are not healthy thoughts for you and also others and such thought does not help in self and society development because such thought can lead to unfavorable behaviours.

Our upbringing from family and society and our natural behaviours greatly has an effect on how we think and understand and that is why we should always develop ourselves frequently to better understand our life and others. Understand and know yourself better, develop yourself physically, mentally and spiritually every day to keep you glowing. To help develop yourself, you can read my post that explains how you can live a life to improve your body, mind and soul how I (to) live a healthy life. Their life is theirs and it is also their responsibility to love, develop and choose their life first so they can also appreciate and love your life.

I will ask you again your life or theirs?

Never Dim Your Light For Anyone

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In trying to achieve what you set our mind to do, one challenge you are likely to face is the challenge of coming across people that will want to you to reduce your light for them so that they can be noticed. People will even go to the extent of making you feel like a bad person and a wicked person for your own reward of your work, blessing or success. You reap what you sow. If you give out what you reaped then that is very bad. It means you are giving your success out.

I have a very close friend that started something she loved even if she was scared about the success of the thing she started. When she started, everything was going well for her but as she continues, friends that were doing similar things with hers, started competing with her, but she chose not to get moved by their actions, instead she was competing with herself. Sooner people started getting jealous of her success as she was getting all the attention and reward for her work. Because people were getting jealous and they were not getting as much attention as she was did not mean she had to stop working for them to be noticed.

If you stop working for the haters, then you are an hater of yourself. They are haters and until they change they will always hate. Even when you are not working, they are still hating. Ignore their hate, help them because we all need love but don’t take their hatred to heart. You should not let people make you feel like you need to hide or abandon your dreams. Your blessings are your blessings. Take it with pride when the reward of your work comes. Do not give out your reward. The blessings of your friend is her’s or his own blessings. Do not try to take her’s or his blessing too.

The theory is that you work and you get paid. If you don’t get paid, do not stop working because our role is to work and not worry about whether we are paid or not or worrying about the difficulty of working. We should do out part always and doing it really and very well and that will get us what we deserve which is our right. Avoid jealousy or trying to take what is not yours. I will end this write up with the famous quote “No pain, no gain”

 

 

 

How to Keep a Long Distance Relationship

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A relationship that is not distant is seen sometimes as difficult not to talk of that which is  distant. In life, we don’t know why some things happen. But when they happen, we should always have a positive mindset and be grateful. In a long distance relationship, we should be grateful. In my post on how to live a healthy life, I wrote, Be grateful to God always. Being grateful and thankful always open doors of greatness and opportunities. Keeping a relationship, does not only mean for it to last forever. It’s not how far but how well – Dave Dorr. Keeping a relationship, distant or not, we should focus on how to make the relationship favourable for you both.

Love is the first thing you need it to successfully keep a relationship. You have to constantly work on yourselves in other not to loose interest in each other. There are sometimes where you find yourself loosing interest in your partner. Those feelings are normal but it is abnormal when you react wrongly to the feeling. How you react to the feelings determines our level of maturity and level at which we love our partner. When we begin to loose interest in our partner, we should understand the feeling in normal and know that he or she is still our partner and we are suppose to love and care for our partner regardless of any feelings. When we practice the habit of constant showing love, our mind and body gets use to it and we begin to notice we love our partner frequently.

Self Control: When your partner is away, there some urges like sex urge or the urge to feel companion from the opposite sex. When we cheat, it can ruin the relationship and that is the last thing we want. While stumbling through the internet, I found this link which should help you resist from cheating how not to cheat on your partner from psychology today

Understanding is key in any type of relationship. What does understanding entails? Knowing your partner, the kind of personality he or she posses, what he or she loves and hate, what he or she dislikes or likes about you and other people. Frequently and always maintaining what he or she loves and removing what he or she dislikes, managing these personalities between each other. How to better understand your partner  by from psychcentral

Maturity: Without maturity, we would not be able to perfectly keep any type of relationship. We are not perfect but we should constantly check ourselves to be better than what we were and help our partner to be a better person and not better than him or her and be supportive. My post on how to be mature will help you more on the area of maturity. How to be mature.

How to be a great partner to your spouse.
How to find your life partner.

How I (To) Live a Healthy Life

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I am not a professional in health counselling but who says you cannot learn or get knowledge from others even if professional help is the best? My aim is to let you know some of the processes I take towards how I live healthy and I hope you find it useful and begin to put them into practice.

Most times, when we hear healthy, we think it has to do with the body being healthy or not. But to be healthy, has not only to do with body but also the mind and soul. To live a healthy life, one has be ready to accept oneself for who they are. Why the need for accepting oneself? Because to want to live a healthy life, means to want to care for yourself and to care for yourself means you have to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are.

To eat healthy and balanced is the most popular when talking about healthy living. For most people, eating healthy is overlooked but eating healthy has a way of making us feel happy and loved, the site I will recommend to help you in your healthy eating habit is helpguide (Trusted guide to mental & emotional health)

There is a normal life routine which to work and earn a living is part of the routine. The general idea about working and being successful is that it is stressful and difficult. What we don’t understand is that to work helps our mind to be healthy. It is not just about being successful but the process of working keeps us healthy. It helps us to have a balanced mindset (Creativity)

Exercise: After I work and eat, exercise is one thing I don’t do without because it makes me feel refreshed, strengthened and ready to work. I will strongly recommend exercise to anyone. From heraldextra, 10 benefits of exercise

  • Being physically active will keep you healthy. Research says that engaging in 30 minutes of exercise a day is all you need to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
  • Exercise makes you happier! Physical activity releases chemicals in your brain called endorphins that are known to make you feel happier and more relaxed.
  • Regular physical activity has been proven to help prevent a wide variety of health problems.
  • Regular physical activity helps you sleep better. When you are active during the day, you typically fall asleep easier and stay asleep longer.
  • Exercise can be fun! Often times exercise can be a part of some your favorite daily activities, such as walking the dog, going to the playground, or riding your bike.
  • Exercise is good for your mind, body, and soul.
  • Exercise helps you maintain a healthy weight.
  • Exercise is good for your heart! It helps maintain a healthy blood pressure and improves circulation.
  • Exercise increases your energy level. Exercising delivers oxygen and nutrients to your whole body helping it to work more efficiently and boost your endurance.
  • Exercise and other physical activities are often great opportunities to socialize. Going to the playground, joining a sports team or going to the local recreation center are all great ways to meet new people.

Taking your bath regularly, using the right cream, trying to avoid injuries on your skin, treating your body and doing your hobbies (What you love). For me, I read, watch movies, listen to music and chat with friends. Having a personal time to find yourself, understand yourself, know yourself to help you know how to address yourself better is important in Personal care which will improve in healthy living

Socialize: From justbreathemag, 9 benefits of socializing

  • Helps in building positive and constructive relationships via the real social networks that are formed.
  • Socializing plays a pivotal role in improving overall growth and development of an individual.
  • As per Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin by SAGE, socializing enhances mental functioning, as the mind is kept occupied with real thoughts.
  • Stress and anxiety levels can be reduced to a great extent. Solutions to problems may be found in dialogue.
  • It provides great opportunity to understand various kinds of people, their mannerisms, personalities, thought processes and so on. Socializing develops better understanding of human perspectives and attributes.
  • Socializing is a great tool for development of self-confidence and giving your self-esteem the required boost. It kicks out shyness and hesitance from an individual making him ready to face the world in a smart manner.
  • It provides happiness and joy when you meet your family and friends in real rather that online life, as you can share issues and emotions more explicitly.
  • Socializing is a great way of giving and getting emotional, physical and spiritual support. Even if you are feeling down and upset with something, friends and family can help you overcome the difficult period with ease. They can cheer you up, provide the required encouragement and bring back your lost zeal and enthusiasm.
  • As per BUPA, socializing reduces risks of various kinds of ailments. Research reports have shown that socializing can help in preventing age related cognitive disorders like Alzheimer’s disease.

Because I cannot exist without you, because you cannot exist without me, because we cannot exist without each other. Mastering the art of having a good relationship with friends and family is one we cannot do without. There are two ways which I think will help you master the art of having good relationship with friends and family. To know the two ways, read my post on how to have a healthy relationship with friends and family.

Lastly, Be grateful: In life, we can meet ourselves in any situation. We should be grateful always in any situation we find ourselves in. Good or bad situation, be grateful. Sometimes you can be in a bad situation but really in a good situation in disguise and sometimes you can be in a good situation but in a good one in disguise. Be grateful to God always. Being grateful and thankful always open doors of greatness and opportunities.

According to the famous dj, djkhaled, “When you are great, be grateful” The best time to be grateful is when we are successful. People tend to forget to be grateful when they are successful. Sometimes, when we get what we have been asking for, we forget to show appreciation and sometimes end up being proud and controlling to others because of our success. In order to avoid our success taken away from us and to continually have open doors of opportunities, we should show gratitude always.

If We Were Us

if i was you

If I was you
If you were me
If they were us
If we were us

I would have done this
You would have done this
They would have done this
We would have done this

What have I done as I?
What have you done as you?
What have they done as they?
What have we done as we?