Deciding to be a better person can seem difficult. Because of this difficulty, the process of being a better person causes self hate. But the aim is self help and not self hate. If care is not taken, we might be self hating and not self helping. Self helping is to be a better person, while self hating is to be worse than your present self.

  • Failure: Having one failure on its own causes low self esteem. The art of being a better person is a continuous process. For this reason, failure is unavoidable. Some people are not aware that failure is unavoidable in self help and which leads self hate.
  • Frustration: The difficulty of achieving a goal to be a better person can be demotivating. Frustrations make you realise your weaknesses. Some of the weaknesses frustration shows are, not having grit, not hardworking and not smart.  If frustration is not handled properly, you are bound to hate yourself.
  • Toxic people: Dealing with toxic people can cause you to lack understanding, have anger issues, stay away from people and making you lose connection with non toxic people e.t.c. These ways of dealing with toxic people are not self help processes rather self hate processes.
  • Lack of motivation: Not having motivation to be a better person can also lead to self hate. Keeping yourself motivation is very important.

The above bullets are draw backs of being a better person. They are the draw backs we experience when being a better person that cause self hate. These draw backs cause more self hate when we are not conscious of them. You might find one of my posts titled Mindfulness – One of Life’s Ingredients useful to be aware.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not.” – Ann Brashares
“Once you embrace your value, talents and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.”- Rob Liano
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Anonymous 
“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.” – Anonymous

We hope not to self hate when self helping even though the solution to self hating is self helping. How can one avoid self hating when self helping? With just this one solution, Mindfulness (Awareness) one can avoid self hate. In my post, mindfulness – one of life’s ingredients, I wrote, “Life has it’s many ingredients that makes it enjoyable to live in. One of the ingredients of life is mindfulness. To be mindful is to be careful, to be careful is to be aware about your surroundings, to be aware is to be smart and being aware about your surroundings keeps you safe from life’s cruelty”. This explanation has given a summary on why mindfulness is the key solution to self hate. To make life enjoyable, to be smart and to avoid draw backs. When you are aware during self help processes, you have a high chance of managing your weaknesses properly. Since self hate is caused by your weaknesses, awareness helps to manage them. Self help is a continuous process till we die. We can’t but do without awareness.  Another difference between self hate and self help is if you are not being self aware continuously then you are self hating. You might also find this article useful. The Power of Self Discovery


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