The battle with solitude and togetherness is a common battle that is commonly not addressed. We either only address the battle with solitude or only address the battle with togetherness. Even though the battle with solitude and togetherness is a common battle, it is commonly ignored. We assume we are living a healthy life battling with solitude and togetherness but we are not because we forget we are actually battling and not living healthily. People they say are different, but our differences are what determine if we can live together or in solitude. Even though we live together, we can never be the same. We fight for the sake of togetherness but solitude wins because of our differences. When we fight for the sake of solitude, togetherness wins because of our unique differences too that need to be appreciated. Living different lives together is an everyday and everynight battle. A battle with disagreement and agreement with others and oneself. A battle to whether be alone or be with others.
“We frequently laugh with our friends, Lynn and Gary, because every time they talk about somewhere they went or something they did, they disagree about details. We laugh that they went on different vacations together. Maybe we laugh because Jim and I see ourselves in the mirror they are holding up. – Pat in Living different lives together.”
In my post titled to be alone sometimes is the best company, I wrote “With or without anyone, you are your best company because you always end up with yourself. When no one is around or everyone has left you, you are left with yourself and you have no choice but to be your best company”. Even if, in my opinion, we are our best company, we still battle with solitude. We battle not trying to be alone, trying to be alone. We also battle not trying to be with others, and trying to be with others. We love to be alone, hate to be alone, love to be with others and hate to be with others. The battle with solitude and togetherness, is the battle of hate or love of solitude and togetherness. In my poem titled alone, I wrote
“But in loneliness I suffer
I found friends, I found lovers, but my mind chose to be alone”
In loneliness we think we are our best self while others think we are our worst self. In togetherness, we think we are our worst self while others think we are our best self and vice versa. Friends, family, lovers and strangers want us and vice versa but we fight them to be alone and they fight us to be together. The battle of solitude and loneliness is not only a battle of love and hate of them, but also a battle for the two to work together. We want to be alone less and be with others more and vice versa.
“I have always enjoyed my own company, never more so than now. As a teenager I could be incredibly lonely to the point of feeling physical pain. I literally ached from it and, like most teenagers, time passed so slowly, so it seemed never ending. – Christine Bolton in Solitude – A haibun.”
The one way to overcome the battle with solitude and togetherness is through appreciation of oneself. Appreciate your differences and others. Appreciating your unique differences will allow you to love yourself. When you love yourself, you will have no problem battling with solitude. When you love yourself, you will not have any problem living together with your differences. The problem of self esteem will be solved. When you also appreciate others, others will be able to relate with you because you love their differences. In my post titled see the beauty in your flaws, I wrote “The moment you understand that God doesn’t make mistakes, is the time you realize you are flawless”. Read my posts, how to value yourself and how to love yourself to learn how to appreciate yourself.
Help others to appreciate their and others’ differences. When you help people, you are fighting solitude and togetherness. When you help others to appreciate their and others’ differences, you are greatly wining. When we begin to appreciate our unique differences, the struggle with solitude and togetherness begin to eradicate.